🛑 Stop playing the comparison game

Just a friendly reminder 🤧

Hi friends and new friends,

First of all, thank you so much for still reading my letters. This is my 10th newsletter since I started in December 2021, and I’m very excited to have you tag along with my kwento (stories).

This week’s newsletter is inspired by this tweet right here 👇🏼

Jesse J. Anderson • ADHD Creative @jessejanderson

Imposter Syndrome is compounded for people with ADHD because we often can’t remember most of our successes. Even the ones we do remember, we often dismiss and discount them by comparing them to our biggest failures.

In 2015, my dad and I immigrated to the US to seek better opportunities. Seeking something better in a new country often means letting go of the things you’ve built back home. Adjusting to the culture here was challenging for the 16-year-old me. I often felt that moving here was a mistake and went on each day planning my escape to go back home. Suppose I had a dollar every time I pulled off a Jaden Smith in Karate Kid when he and his mom went to China. In that case, I’d probably be able to afford a one-way ticket to the Philippines.

I played the comparison game for most of my time here. I compared where I was in life with my peers in the Philippines. Graduation season was the hardest. Seeing my friends in their graduation gowns in their graduation photos, I couldn’t help but think, what if I stayed. I could’ve finished college with them. I would probably be in med school right now 🙃 Okay, you know what, just between us, I felt like I ~failed~.

When I graduated from community college back in 2018, I remember feeling relieved that somehow I got to wear a graduation gown too. At least, somehow, I can say I closed a chapter in my life. However, what seemed to be a triumphant moment in my life was hidden in the shadows of my failures. Instead of seeing “graduated as cum laude,” I see “graduated—but not with a Bachelor’s degree.” Many of these memorable wins were only shared with the people who knew my struggles. And while they celebrated me, I was still unable to celebrate myself.

I think I am not alone in this. We know ourselves so much, so we know how much we’ve failed. Since we know our history of failures, we dismiss our new stories of successes.

Today is a different story now. I am glad that I’ve grown out of the habit of comparing my journey with others. I would be lying if I said I’ve completely grown out of it. It’s valid and normal. But I guess I’m glad that I’m quick to remind myself to play that game anymore. It took me 2 years to let go of the myth that I have to do things the traditional way. And I preach that all the time— what matters to me now is how I can do them because I know I will, and I know I can! I can elaborate more on the practical steps I did during those two years, so text/email me if you’re interested to learn more. Hopefully, that will help you out when you’re in this season.

Remember that YOU are worth celebrating, wherever you are in your journey right now. Celebrate the small and big wins as elaborate as you want. :)

Sincerely,

Sheehan

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🪧 Announcements

Busy, busy week this week! I have an experiment, meetings, and exams lined up this week. I hope my slow, forgetful brain can keep up.

🌈 My Favourite Things (take what you need!)

🎧 Music

One of the practical things that I talked about earlier is this: listening to this song on repeat, or at least whenever I need it. If you need a pick-me-up song and feel like you’re not enough, this song might help. :)

🐦 Tweet

let my people glo ✨ @MichellCClark

please be gentle with yourself. you’re still learning. you’re still growing. you’re doing the best you can. love yourself through every peak, valley, and plateau on your journey.

📖 Verse of the Week

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”